Chris 23rd Birthday
by Wwolf
Summary: On his birthday chris dies, a lot . Warnings Character death no graphic , dark humour and a little crack.


On his 23rd Birthday Chris was hit by a truck.

Only, not really, because Wyatt travelled from the future and orbed him to the top of the San Francisco bridge, just at the same time that a lightening struck there. Or not, because her tomorrow mother, (or past tomorrow mother he didn't get the exact details), froze time and they decided to go home, and apparently, half of the demoniac populations decided to do that too. Two or three of them may or may not kill him before he was smashed under his gran-granddad relic. He always hated that clock.

However, nothing of this really happened, (it was long, complicated and involved the end of the world, don't ask), so they made his birthday's party on the P3, where Chris discovered his lethal allergy to blackberries. But death was defeated and caged and everything was alright. (Well, the balance of life was disturbed and all that jazz, but nobody seem to care too much).

After getting randomly shot by strange in the street; bitten by a dangerous snake from Cancun; strangled by his aunt Pheobe's clothes( seriously DON'T ASK); stabbed by his other aunt(twice! so much for being his favorite); Chris confronted his parents:

- I think I'm going to die today.

- Not, you're not.- Said Piper, sounding really angry, like if any of this was his fault .- I'm not allowing it.

- You are not above destiny and the course of natural live!!- He replied hating that he was sounding like a teenager wanting to go to a party.

- We know that. -Said Leo with his peacemaking voice. -But is not your destiny to die today.

- Well, apparently somebody didn't inform them of that. -He was pointing at the nine caged Deaths in the room, (one was cursing them in what sounded like Japanese).

- We are not letting you go that easily.

Chris had a very good answer to this, sadly an arrow crossed his heart before he could open his mouth.

After or before or the same time in an alternative reality… Chris waked up tied on his bed. A blue shield was around him. It made Wyatt's voice sound weird.

- You stay here all day and everything is going to be alright.

- That's stupid, how do you know that tomorrow is going to stop?

- Because… - Wyatt suddenly seemed very interested in the wall – I don't know, there is a possibility, you know? Is not like there is anything weird about your 23td birthday, is just like a normal day. - Chris rolled his eyes.

- What is?

- Nothing!!

-Wyatt, you're like the worst liar in the world, we both know it. Just tell me…

His brother sat on his side, looking down.

- I can't lie to you.- Chris smiled.-But I can shut up.

And Chris died of exasperation, ok, it was a heart attack. Anyway it was totally Wyatt's fault.

Chris wake up (again) in the underworld. (Somewhere in between there had been: falls from stairs, falling pianos, dogs, wild cats, elephants!! And a man dressed like Paris Hilton. Luckily the excess of magic and time travel made everything extremely fuzzy). All his family was around him and something was just wrong.

- You used dark magic, didn't you? - Nobody was looking at him. - YOU USED DARK MAGIC!!! I can't believe you guys.

-You're not dying today. - Said Leo and if Chris had not been so angry he would have heard the desperate tone on his father's voice, at the moment he didn't care.

-Again, you mean.

- I DON'T CARE!!!- Pheobe was scary, he never had seen her so angry.- You can say or want everything we are not letting you go.

- Do you thing I want to die? - Chris didn't know if laugh or cry.- Do you really think I don't have plans and hopes? That I don't want to finish my studies, find a girl, get married, have children, and all that?- His eyes were red but he didn't want to cry.- Of course I want to grow old, but…- He locked at each of them.- I don't see an alternative here.

- We can stop it. - Said Piper and Chris had never expected to see her mother so fragile. - We are going to freeze you, for a while, until we clean this mess and afterwards everything is going to be ok. - It was a mother's plead, one that no son could refuse.

-You're not of the hook that easily. -Tried to joke aunt Paige.

It was a bad choice of words.

For a moment Chris though that this was the end, but earth and heaven trembled and he was alive once more, somewhere, with Wyatt. He had Excalibur in his hand and his body irradiated pure magic.

- I don't want you to die. You are not dying. - He looked powerful, omnipotent…Scary. The guy who could do everything, a god in earth. Somebody had to teach him about humility or… And for an extraordinary second Chris remembered everything.

On his 23rd birthday Chris was hit by a truck. Wyatt tried, but he was too late.


End file.
